Let’s Talk About It: My Postpartum Depression Story
Using this photo as my cover photo as I speak on this topic is so important to me because I was in the height of my depression during this photoshoot, and no outsider would ever know.
My beautiful, strong Supermom. Let’s talk, shall we?
My first blog post on here was regarding my initial experience with postpartum depression (PPD). It showed the side of a mother who had no idea what was happening, and the journey to figuring that all out. It was a huge milestone for me because I was initially shamed for feeling emotions that I didn’t quite understand, which made it all the more confusing. Today, I consider myself a voice for the mothers who haven’t quite found theirs yet. For the mothers who are silently battling an illness that they’re too scared to speak on.
There are so many mothers who constantly reach out to me, inquiring my initial signs of PPD were, and how I sought help for it. I decided to compile not only my own personal experience, but a few resources where I found information regarding it. Be on the look out for my first YouTube video, where I’ll be getting really deep into the details of my contributing factors, feeling misunderstood by my loved ones, and much more!
*Side note: My experience with PPD never involved any harmful thoughts towards myself or my child. I always highly suggest seeking professional help for all signs of depression, but most importantly, if you feel you can cause harm to yourself, child, or others, PLEASE TELL SOMEONE IMMEDIATELY!
I had no idea I was showing signs of depression the first time around. I hardly ate, I didn’t want to see anyone, mustering up the energy to shower to everything in me, I craved isolation with just my child, I had a very short fuse with everyone around me, and I cried every single moment I wasn’t around company. To myself, I had no idea what was happening; I just knew I wasn’t okay. To those around me, I was going through another one of my bad attitude spells and no one had time to deal with that.
In retrospect, my emotions were brought on by a ripple of events: unable to birth him vaginally, unable to breastfeed, and sleep deprivation bc he was colicky are just three, to say the least. Although many women experience the same turn of events as I, my hormones were exceptionally out of whack, and in turn, heightened every single emotion.
I spoke to my OBGYN about how I was feeling and she noted I was showing signs of depression. I chose to seek my therapist with the use of Google, because I had specific requirements that I knew only I could find. I began seeing a therapist weekly at four months postpartum, and once my signs of PPD stsrted to diminish, I began going bi-weekly.
*Finding a therapist who fits YOU is not the easiest task. Be open to suggestions from your doctors, friends, and whoever else you’re comfortable opening up to. Therapy is a lot more common than you think, but not every therapist will fit. Keep trying until you find the right one.
I understand opening up to strangers is one of the scariest steps you can take. People will tell you to stop using social media as a form of therapy, not acknowledging that sometimes, it’s a cry for help. I felt the need to elaborate on the topic of PPD because some of those emotions have begun to resurface and I took note of them quite early. Currently, I’m seeking a therapist who is the right fit for me (previous one is currently unavailable), and I’m using my platform to speak to my followers about my journey through.
Supermoms, I have been called crazy, ungrateful, and dramatic. I have been treated like my emotions were invalid. This is all coming from people I love, too. I do not share my story as a cry for help, nor do I seek attention from it. I am here to remind you, whether you are the mother experiencing PPD symptoms, or the partner, parent, or friend of someone who is showing signs of PPD that help is out there. Depression does not look the same on everyone and you are not crazy.
Postpartum depression is an actual hormonal balance and, left untreated, can result in extremely harmful results.
I will be linking some resources below to help you grasp a better understanding of your own symptoms, and a website to seek professional help.
I hope someone found this helpful.
Sending a lifetime of love and hugs,
Your favorite Supermom